We’re surrounded by stressful news, the pressure of tasks we need to do, and other people’s frustrating behavior.

All of this stirs up our emotions and nervous system. Our “lizard brain” is worried and focused on survival. We want to get rid of this discomfort and feel soothed and relaxed.

Research is increasingly showing that during this reaction to acute or chronic stress, our higher brain functions literally go offline.

We have less access to the “8 C’s of the authentic self”: calmness, clarity, curiosity, creativity, courage, confidence, compassion and connectedness.

What we do have access to, in our modern world, are quick and easy “solutions” that seem to offer comfort and relaxation, but undermine us in the long term, like sugar-laden foods, social media, alcohol and much more.

We feel deeply uncomfortable. Our wise decision-making prefrontal cortex is impaired. Temptations that trigger cravings are all around us.

It’s no wonder at all that so many of my clients (and myself) struggle to resist temptations and stick to our reasonable plan for ourselves.

Of course we can and should use strategies like setting limits, abstaining, and especially finding healthier substitutes. But this usually isn’t enough. It’s so helpful to learn to intervene directly to calm our nervous system, and it can make all the difference.

I didn’t learn how to do that when I was growing up, except for the grandmotherly advice to “take a deep breath before responding” (spot-on!).

But I’ve learned so much in recent years, from fields as diverse as psychology, Buddhism, life coaching and Positive Intelligence.

The basic practice is to use the breath, body and/or senses to center and ground ourselves in the present moment (instead of our worries about the past or the future). This creates a relaxation response in the nervous system and brings our wise, compassionate self (at least partially) back online.

Does that mean we have to sit quietly for 20 or 30 minutes (which so many of us struggle to do, including me)? Fortunately no!

We can feel a shift in just 10, 30 or 60 seconds. And that shift can be just enough to help us make a better choice (about eating, drinking, or how to respond to a person or situation).

We might call these short practices mindfulness snacks. Or maybe mini-mindfulness, or micro-doses of mindfulness?

I’m going to describe nine of my favorite powerful techniques here. Before I do, I want to bring up four common objections I hear, which I also had to overcome for myself:

Objection #1: If we’re stressed and frantic and our prefrontal cortex is offline, how are we going to convince ourselves to do even a short breathing practice? It’s still much easier to snap at our spouse or reach for the glass of wine or the cookies.

Yes, even after learning these skills and finding them useful, we’ll still sometimes break down and do the thing we didn’t plan to do.

But if we practice regularly and feel the benefits, these tools can become a habit, and we’re more likely to turn to them when needed. We can also use them to keep our nervous system more balanced so we don’t get into such a frantic state in the first place.

Objection #2: Isn’t this toxic positivity, denying our feelings and covering them up with fake serenity?

Fortunately no! Our emotions are part of being human, and it’s not helpful to deny them, cover them up or feel shame for having them.

But when we regulate our nervous system, we can more easily bring our whole brain and heart to deal with whatever we are feeling. In fact, we’ll be better equipped to let our uncomfortable emotions flow through us instead of pushing them away, and pay compassionate attention to what they are signaling (for instance anger may arise when something violates our values).

Objection #3: Breathing and meditating won’t slow down global warming or make my to-do list any shorter. They just seem like a useless distraction.

That’s a natural thought when we are upset about a situation. We just want to take practical action to fix it. But these techniques actually support effective action by giving us more access to our inner wisdom, so we can see more clearly what we can actually do and what we may need to let go of.

Objection #4: I don’t want to sit quietly with my thoughts, because I get too restless, and also I don’t think I’m going to like what I find there.

Oh yes, that was me for sure. My mind felt like a neighborhood full of bullies (hmm, familiar from childhood), and certainly not a place I’d want to sit quietly and vulnerably. I’ve come a long way on that journey!

Fortunately, with these techniques, we can take little one-minute bites of mindfulness that are not so intimidating and don’t trigger as much restlessness. The focus is on the body and the senses, and we can even move around as we tune in.

As these tools become habits, there’s a very good chance that your restlessness will decrease and you’ll become more willing to explore your mind with curiosity and compassion (even its least pleasant aspects).  That’s what has happened to me!

A word about the breath: I used to think it was just a convenient focal point for meditation, because it’s always there. But its power is much greater. Breathing is part of the autonomic nervous system, but we can also intentionally control it. By changing the breath, even just for 30 seconds, we can directly influence our nervous system.

I hope that all makes sense! Let’s finally get to the eight mindfulness snacks I love adding to my day, for more clarity, calm and focus. There are of course many more. Please reach out at patricia@fierceaafter45.com and share any that work well for you!

As you try any of these tools, first notice how you are feeling. See if you can identify an uncomfortable emotion or a problem you’re upset about. Then practice the technique for about 30-60 seconds. Check in afterward to see if you are calmer and more able to access your inner wisdom to deal with the emotion or problem.

• Slow breathing. Lift your head, open your chest, relax your abs, and breathe in gently and deeply, through your nose if possible, for a count of five seconds. Pause for a moment and then slowly exhale for five seconds, or six if you can. Exhale either through your nose, or through your mouth with pursed lips as if you were blowing through a straw. Repeat at least twice.
• Box breathing. Breathe in to a count of four, hold the breath for a count of three, exhale to a count of four, and hold the breath out for a count of three before you inhale again, forming a sort of “box” with the breath. Feel free to alter the size of the “box” as needed, and gradually build it up as you master the technique. Practice along with me in this 1-minute video!
• Body scan. Shine the light of your curious, caring attention on your body and scan through it, starting with the feet. Notice all the physical sensations: the pressure of the floor or chair, the feeling of your clothing, the temperature, any painful areas or positive sensations. As you do this, listen with patience to see if your body has anything to communicate to you.
• Somatic tracking. Tune in to an uncomfortable emotion or physical pain you are currently feeling, and notice how and where it shows up in your body. Does it feel like a knot, heaviness or maybe a prickly or spiky feeling? Focus your caring attention on the part of the body where this feeling is showing up most strongly. See if you can visualize its shape and size, even its texture or color. Sit with it as you might sit with a friend or a child who is upset. It may move around; go with that and follow it. Tell it something like “I know this hurts” or whatever feels right to you. Listen patiently for a moment to see if it has anything to communicate to you.
• Prayer. Here, it isn’t so much about a request like “please protect my aunt from the hurricane in Florida,” but opening ourselves up to spiritual guidance and asking for support with the qualities we would like to have, like patience or the strength to resist a craving. The Serenity Prayer is a powerful example: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”
• Mindful breathing. Ground yourself in your body by wiggling your fingers and toes and feeling the pressure of your body on the chair or floor. Then start noticing your breath. Keep turning your attention to your breath as thoughts come and go. This is a classic longer meditation technique, of course, but it can be useful even if done for just a few breaths.
• Walking meditation. Walk around the room or outside. Focus your attention on all of the physical sensations, including your feet on the floor/ground, the colors and shapes you see, the sounds around you, the temperature, the feeling of your clothing, and even the smells you notice.
• Intentional focus. Find an object you can see and look at it with focused, curious awareness. Notice the shapes, colors, textures and shadows. Let go of thoughts that judge or explain the object (ugly, useful) and just immerse yourself in the way it looks, like an artist.
• The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique. This tool is famous as an effective way to halt the anxiety spiral of a panic attack. If it works there, it can work in other tough situations too! Simply pause and find 5 things in your environment you can see, 4 things you can touch (like the ground, your clothing, your fingers touching each other, your tongue against your teeth), 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

Of course you can find these techniques in meditation apps, on YouTube and elsewhere. If you’re trying any of them for the first time, I’d love to hear what you think — reach out to me at patricia@fierceafter45.com!

With my clients, I encourage them to try new tools along with me (yes, it can be awkward at first!) and then on their own. They choose their favorites and adapt them to their own needs and preferences.

Often they “graduate” to a more extensive practice that brings even more benefits. A very popular practice among my clients is “RAIN” as taught by Tara Brach.

By using these tools when taking a break or in moments of moderate challenge and feeling their benefits, we build the habit and instinctively start using them when we’re highly stressed and when we’re hit by strong cravings.

Ready to practice? I’d love to use these tools with you in an affordable coaching series, to work on whatever stress, cravings or other issues are affecting your well-being. Reach out to me at patricia@fierceafter45.com, or let’s connect in a no-pressure Zoom conversation which you can schedule yourself here!

Please also join my free “Relax and Release” group on Zoom once or twice a month. We practice and discuss these techniques together, which really helps. Reach out to me at patricia@fierceafter45.com for details and to get on the email reminder list!

Mindfulness snacks can change not only our habits and the way we feel, but also how we relate to others, as we react with more calmness, clarity, curiosity, creativity, courage, confidence, compassion and connectedness. Let’s change our nervous systems, our well-being, and the world!